Courtesy of Beth Kanter (click photo for link).
Day 3. Write your own obituary.
I decided to take the ludicrous route. No way could I write my own actual obituary, are you crazy!
In Loving Memory of Sarah Neeve, who departed this world before her time.
Right you old buggers. I may be dead but you haven’t got rid of me yet. Yep, you’ve got it, I wrote my obituary (as the lifeboat sank I might add. Never pass up an opportunity to write). So for those of you with your hands in my knicker drawer, you’re out of luck. I sold the family jewels to take this world cruise you were all envious of. Just a shame I didn’t get to enjoy it, though, as if Ireland wasn’t a big enough obstacle to miss. Trust me to pick the only cruise liner with a blind captain. I suppose the white stick and guide dog should have sounded the alarm bells. Come to think of it, strange that my husband developed a serious case of stomach flu the night before?
However, I’m digressing.
To my husband, thank you for putting up with me over the years. You always knew to keep your mouth shut at the right time, and say the right things at the wrong time. By the way, I cashed in my life insurance before I left. Shame it went down with the ship.
To my son and daughter-in-law, I love you both dearly, even though you failed to produce the twin grandsons predicted by that gypsy. For crying out loud, how many comic books and Star Wars Lego do you need anyway. But I’ll forgive you. Eventually.
For all my friends, what can I say. I guarded your friendship like a drunk hugs a bottle of White Lightning. For those of you I didn’t like… best to sleep with one eye open, you never know who’s watching.
Well, what’s left. I loved to drink. I enjoyed a smoke. Swore as good as the next person. Wrote stories that never made it (no one got my style stupid feckers). Walked to the top of Snowdon and shouted – ‘I’m on top of the world’ ( when I caught my breath that is. I knew smoking was bad for me). Watched the sun rise and then watched it set again. Loved. Lost. Laughed (like a pig on helium), and cried. A lot.
So I’ll say my farewells, the papers getting wet now. Until we meet again.